Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Late marriage-is it so bad after all?

There is nothing wrong on going for a late marriage. For a successful relationship, one has to be financially independent. To have you own pay packet becomes all the more important in the recession-hit scenario of the present age. With the rising cost of everyday commodities, it’s no longer the man who needs to shoulder the responsibility of being the breadwinner. Women too have emerged as emancipated human beings who have a career to boast of and can share the responsibility of the home and hearth equally with her man.

Marrying late also makes you have a clear understanding of who you are and where you want to head to in the future. Rather than the mushy-mushy romance of the early 20’s, a relationship in your late 20’s or 30’s is based on hard facts and not on dreams. This in turn makes it much easier to weigh your options and plan your future much better.

From a personal point of view, I can vouch for the phenomenon of getting married late. Though there have been the usual pressure of getting married from my parents and relatives, I resisted the matter till I got settled into a steady job and felt that the time was ripe for a conjugal life. I’ve married at 33 and am pretty happy the way things have shaped up.

To conclude, I just want to say to the people who comprise of our society to let the men and women decide on their own when they want to get hitched. It’s not the duty or moral responsibility of people to put undue pressure on the boy or girl and get them married just because a few of their friends or relatives have done so. Let the choice rest with the person whose life is going to take a new turn once he/she falls prey to the marriage bug!


Sarita said...

Wow your are an experienced blogger. i am quite new, just 3 months. yes i knew about the pentasect content writing workshop. i registered also but couldn't turn up at the last moment. yes its good that kolkata is getting the high. hope to see more such meets and workshops....


cactus said...

From your post the reasons for late marriage are not strong enough.
You make 2 points
1.For a successful relationship, one has to be financially independent.
2.Marrying late also makes you have a clear understanding of who you are and where you want to head to in the future.

Firstly , your thoughts have been made only after a few months of marriage, as they say first 3 years are the honeymoon period,so comments for people who have been married for longer periods may throw some actual facts about marriage.

Your first point about the positive correlation between success in marriage and financial independence is highly debatable.

every moment of our life our thoughts evolve, our wants ,desires, perceptions change. There is no constant you that you can know who you and where you are headed at any moment. It is pointless to label oneself. you can be anything you want to be. Because you decide who you will be with your thoughts.

Can you tel me please.Why did u marry?
For companionship, procreation, for love., financial security,. why??

Chief said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sonali said...

@Sarita: Thanks for commenting.

@ Cactus: First of all, thanks for your comments.

Coming to your questions-
1. Yes, I've not yet completed even a year of my married life, but as people say-morning shows the day, so do I believe that you don't need to wait for more than 3 years to assess how different is life post-marriage.

2. Financial independence is indeed very important, more so with so many cases of harassment and dowry deaths. I do believe that education and financial freedom empowers a woman and makes her strong enough to resist harassment and being trated as nothing more than a mere doormat.

Of course, these are my own views, and people are free to have their own versions, which may or may not be the same as that of mine.

Lastly, you asked - why did I marry? Well - it was because life gave me a chance to have a good friend as a husband, and marriage brought peace in life as constant bickering of my family members - yelling "get married, get married" came to a stop. :)

Sonali said...

Forgot to add:
The love and unconditional support that were mine as a friend are still mine as a wife, but the icing on the cake is perhaps getting a husband & a friend rolled into one!!!

cactus said...

I really liked your reason "marriage brought peace in life". In my opinion "Peace of mind" is the ultimate feeling,the ultimate goal , sadly it is a feeling that eludes me and most people. Nice to see someone so happy , you are lucky because there aren't many people who know how it feels to be truly loved, acknowledged , respected. Stay in love..always..

cactus said...

And yes !!, forget to add this,what i learned from your post. It doesn't matter when you marry, late or early , what matters is whom you marry..:)

Sonali said...

hehe, thanks. :)